No ‘right’ way to do December

How December feels can depend so much on your perspective, can’t it. There’s this glossy version we see in ads and social media, then there’s the one you actually live through. The messy, beautiful, complicated one. That’s why I want to say this clearly at the start: there is no right way to do December… or there’s no right way to do December that you “should” be aiming for.

When December feels too full… or too quiet

For some women, December is wall-to-wall events, end-of-year deadlines, family logistics and the constant feeling of needing to be “on”. You’re juggling work, social plans, school things, food, presents, expectations… it’s a lot.

For others, it’s quiet. Sometimes too quiet. The calendar doesn’t look like the ads, there aren’t many invitations, family is far away or relationships are complicated, and the silence can sting just as much as the overload.

Neither experience is wrong. Both can feel tender in their own way.

The December that made me feel like we were “doing it wrong”

When we first moved to Australia, those early Christmases were a big adjustment. No big family gatherings, no buzzy chaos of cousins and grandparents and too many people in the kitchen. It was just our little family of five.

Peaceful in some ways, but also a bit empty if I’m honest. I remember missing the noise, the familiarity, the sense of being part of something bigger than just us. It took a while before it stopped feeling like we were “doing it wrong” and started to feel like we were allowed to create traditions that were truly ours, not just a poor substitute for what we’d left behind.

That experience was a quiet reminder that there really is no right way to do December, only the way that makes sense for you in this chapter of your life.

You’re allowed to have mixed feelings

So wherever you find yourself this year – overscheduled, under-booked, quietly content or somewhere in the messy middle – this is your reminder that there is no right way to do December.

You’re allowed to have mixed feelings about it all. You’re allowed to feel grateful and overwhelmed. You’re allowed to enjoy parts of it and feel lonely in others. You’re also allowed to step back, take a breath and honour your reality, not the one on the Christmas movies.

Meeting the version of you who appears when life slows

Earlier this year I created Bring the Glow Home, an audio coaching experience all about that version of you who appears when the pace changes.

Maybe it’s when you’re on holiday. Maybe it’s during a long weekend. Maybe it’s just those rare days when the to-do list loosens its grip.

She breathes a little deeper.
Notices more.
Laughs more easily.

She eats when she’s hungry, rests when she’s tired and reads something just because she wants to. She’s not weighed down by everyone’s expectations in quite the same way. She’s still you, just with more space.

The heart of that work is a simple question:

What if that version of you wasn’t just a visitor for “special occasions”, but someone you let have more of a say in everyday life?

December, in its own strange way, can be a powerful time to explore that.

Noticing your own glow this December

If you do get any kind of break over the festive season – whether it’s a full holiday, a couple of days off, or simply a slightly slower rhythm at home – it might be a beautiful chance to quietly observe your own glow and what it’s trying to tell you.

You might notice yourself:

• Laughing more easily with fewer commitments
• Lingering over your morning cuppa instead of rushing out the door
• Feeling calmer when there’s less on the calendar
• Realising that one simple thing – a walk, a book, a conversation – makes everything feel a little lighter

Rather than turning that into another task, you could simply name it to yourself:

“This feels good. I’d like more of this next year.”

The same goes for the things that leave you feeling drained, over-stimulated or flat. Gently noticing what leaves you exhausted, resentful or a bit numb can quietly show you where something may need to shift, even if you’re not ready to decide how just yet.

Looking beyond your own bubble

December can also be a powerful time to soften our focus outward, just a little.

While you might be juggling invitations, logistics or family dynamics, someone else may be sitting in a quieter house than they’d like, or carrying private grief, or wishing they had more to say no to.

Stepping back to notice that our Decembers all look different can:

• Ease some of the pressure you put on yourself to “get it right”
• Open the door to small acts of kindness – a message to someone you haven’t seen in a while, checking on a neighbour, or simply being a little more patient in crowded spaces

Often it’s the tiniest gestures that remind people they’re not alone.

One small way to honour yourself this December

However your December looks, my hope is that you’ll find at least one small way to honour yourself in it.

That might look like:

• Claiming an early night instead of one more event
• Going for a walk on your own, just to hear yourself think
• Saying yes to something that genuinely delights you
• Saying no to something you’d normally push yourself through

You deserve that much, at the very least.

I’m genuinely grateful you’re here in this community, reading these words and considering what they might mean for your own life.

P.S. Want a gentle way to capture what you want from 2026?

If you’d like some more intentional space to capture what you want from 2026, the Bucket List Board workshop is still available to purchase.

You can:

• Watch the recorded workshop
• Work through the workbook in your own time over the holidays
• Then join me live in January for the online co-creation session where we build your board together

It’s a gentle, creative way to turn these end-of-year reflections into a visual reminder you can come back to all year, rather than letting them disappear once the decorations are packed away.